A Censored Letter

Today, in this chilling weather
I stand here alone
Defender of my nation
Salvation of our ideology
I am a hero
I am a soldier
My body is freezing
My uniform is torn
My heart, homesick
Yet I stand here, alone
To defend my homeland
I am a hero
My youth is your pride
My sacrifice is your life

I still have little joys
In company of my friends
And the joy when I get my pay
To be sent back home
My sister is studying
My brother is young
My father is ill
And my house is not built
It has been months
Since I last met them
Back home
But here I have to stay
My youth is your pride
My sacrifice is your life

I know, I wanted to be a writer
Write about romances, sing songs of joy
But life is short, full of needs
My father is ill, I am a breadwinner
So I had to be a defender of border
I did not have money for education
So I am a jawan, not some officer
You see, so
I take my orders and orders define me
All I want to say
Is, that a war might happen
For any smallest reason
If I am gone, I am telling
I have extra savings, just in case
My dear mother, you'll be needing
Let my sister get married and have a degree
Let my brother study and live a better life
My heart aches to be with you
To eat bread from your hands at dinner
But life is short, full of miseries
So here I have to stay
My youth is your pride
My sacrifice is your life


Today we captured a trespassing civilian
Our officer said, he is a spy in disguise
So investigation started, he spoke in his dialect
I know this dialect, my friend spoke in it too
He was begging to let go, he was begging to be free
Begging us not to hurt him
We were beating him while he was tied to chair
I wanted to set him free, mother
His cries are ringing in my ear
I felt so sorry for his poor fate
What if he really wasn't a spy?
For he couldn't speak properly and wailed like a child
My senior told me to toughen up
This job is for brave, not for faint-hearts
So here I am, on my turn to torture that civilian
Life is short, cruel, miserable
I am a hero
I have to keep my pride
I am a soldier
I have to reminisce
My body is freezing
My uniform is torn
My heart, homesick
Yet I stand here, alone
To defend my homeland
I am a hero
My youth is your pride
My sacrifice is your life